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Friday, September 28, 2018

Sybil Jane: Four + Five Month Update

Sweet Sybie,

I'm joining your four and five month update into one because I never carved out time in month four to sit down and write. Then I blinked and now you're five months.

Here we are.

It's becoming fall and you're keeping in rhythm with the transitions of the seasons. Like the weather becoming cooler and the leaves turning colors, so you are changing, growing.

I can feel you leaving the teeny-tiny baby stage like I can feel the crispness in the air.

Life continues to move, my babies continue to grow.

You're sleeping through the night (since month four! yay!) in your own room and that alone makes you feel older.

This month I don't have the desire to write about your sleep or eating habits (though both are truly amazing)...I'm finding the older you girls become the less I care about those things and the more I care about the small, daily things as simple as they may seem.

The way you giggle when Hazel jumps up and says, "Lets do this!"

How you snuggle down into my neck when I hug you goodnight and squeeze you an extra minute longer. Hoping somehow I'll be able to store up these moments to take them out when I need one for later.

How Eleanor says, "Mama! Mama! Holding hands Mama!" As she squeezes your tiny hand in her slightly bigger, tiny hand. You wide-eyed and laughing as she does this.

You have this calmness that is truly unique to you in our crazy crew. It may be all the stimulation from watching your sisters bop around like bouncy balls, or maybe it's just you and how God uniquely designed you as Sybil Jane.

It may just be a season. Maybe when you can walk and run and jump you'll be the one leading the sisters in gymnastics down the hallway, or maybe not.

In our current season your calmness is a beautiful and welcomed gift. Thank you, sweet girl. Thank you, Lord.

As I rocked you last night, I prayed for you and your sisters.

I prayed for me too.

I prayed you girls would grow up seeing a mama who knows her need for Jesus,

who has flaws and doesn't set perfection as the standard for herself or others,

who is proud of who she is and the body she has,

who takes risks, who fails, and then stands back up knowing her identity is found in Jesus and not in her failures or successes,

and who truly rests in the truth and grace of being fully accepted and fully loved just as she is.

I want these things things to be true for you and your sisters, and because I want that so much for y'all I know you need me to live them out--I need me to live this out!

I will try my best. I will fail, and then I'll try again.

But God is good and kind and loving. I believe He will give me the strength to be the woman He has called me to be.

I love you, Sybie girl. You are a gift to me and I am so grateful.

Oh, and you were 17 lbs (89th percentile) and 27 inches long (99th percentile) at your four month appointment. I gave you some carrots about a week ago--you liked them just fine. You're rolling over and like to stick out your tongue. You're still nursing and you take a bottle okay. You're an easygoing, sweet baby who makes us all smile like crazy. Future me will be glad I wrote that down. ;)

You're a dream of a baby and my heart bursts with gratitude. I love you, baby girl. So very much.



Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Smooth Spoons

"That's so beautiful, Mommy," Hazel said as I scraped extra baking powder off the spoon making it smooth.

"What is, baby?" I asked looking around.

"That, mama!" She pointed excitedly at the spoon.

I looked down right before dropping it into the flour.

The baking powder laying perfectly smooth on the spoon. Just the right amount.

"You almost missed it, Mama." Hazel said as she shifted on the stool, ready for me to drop it in now that I saw it, "Good thing I showed you."

Her words rung in my head.

You almost missed it, Mama.

What other beautiful things am I just dropping into the bowl of life? What else am I missing?

In my value of efficiency I can miss the beauty in small moments, the sweetness of lingering just a moment longer.

We ate our pancakes extra slow and with extra sprinkles, because these are the days I hear and I don't want to miss it.

May we all find beauty in our smooth spoons today, whatever they may be.